Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
