just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
