i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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