i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
