Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We had sex on a dog bed..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize