So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
