I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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