He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
