Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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