I wanna bring you to show and tell
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
