Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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