I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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