Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
