I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
