I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
