Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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