phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize