the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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