im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize