Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
