How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
