It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
