i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
