Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
