Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
