So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
