we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
