so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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