I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
