Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
