We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
