He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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