dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
