but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
