It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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