yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
