Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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