I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
