After last night, I could never be a politician.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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