Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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