I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
