so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
