Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
