and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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