nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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