hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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