i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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