I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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