can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
vagina is talking i cant
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
