I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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