hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize