I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
