I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
