No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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