dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
