were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
