if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
