The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
