I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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