Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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