I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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