Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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