Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
