Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids

(979): View more from Texas

Ahaha, good shit

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.

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(841): View more from

That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.

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(432): View more from Texas

she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.

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(408): View more from California

I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.

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(936): View more from Texas

Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car

(713): View more from Texas

It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off

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